This dessert pizzahttps://chefnspice.com/bavarian-cream-pizza-recipe/ wey I dey talk about? The one from Cici’s buffet? The Bavarian cream one? E don vanish from menu. Just like that. My customer come last month, woman wey never chop am since she be small pikin. She beg me make I try am for her. I tell her, “Biko, give me two days.”
I enter my kitchen. Confidence full ground.
First attempt? I use thin crust. Ordinary thin crust. You know wetin thin crust do? E snap. As you bite am, e break like biscuit. Imagine eating custard on top of cracker. My apprentice taste am, look me for face, and say “Oga, this one no be am.” E be like say e slap me. But e talk true.
Second attempt. I say make I try pastry crust. The kind wey bakeries dey use for small chops. E come out fine o. Golden. Pretty. But when I try to lift one slice? Ah! Everything scatter. Cream dey run down my fingers. Fruit dey slide everywhere. The thing fall apart before e reach plate. You no fit serve that kind thing to human being. Dem go laugh you.
Third time. I remember say sugar cookie dough dey exist. You can buy am from shop if you lazy. Or you make am from scratch if you get time. I make am from scratch that day. Soft dough. Sweet. I roll am, bake am, e come out golden for edges. When I put cream on top and slice am? The slice hold. E no break. I tell my apprentice, “This one don sweet.”
Now let me talk about the cream. This is where plenty people dey miss road.
If you use pudding alone? Too heavy. If you use only whipped cream? E go collapse for your face after ten minutes. Bavarian cream na the middle child wey get sense. You go make custard first milk, sugar, egg yolks, flour. You cook am on medium heat. You must stir am continuously. No go watch television. No go answer phone. Stir am.
When e don thick like pap not watery, not thin when e fit coat your spoon back? That’s when you remove am from fire. Add butter and vanilla.
Now this next part is where I nearly cried one Sunday morning.
If you no cool the custard completely before you add whipped cream? The cream go melt. You go get soup. Literal soup. That morning, my guest dey come by 1pm. By 12pm, my cream dey flow like water. I wanted to throw the bowl against the wall. But I remember say na God I go offend. So I just start again. Biko, cool am. One hour minimum. Two hours is better.
After e cool, you whip your heavy cream. Whip am until e stand. If you lift your beater and the tip dey flop, you no finish. Continue. When e stand like mountain peak? Stop.
Then fold am into the custard. Fold. No stir. No beat. No aggression. Use spatula. Cut down the middle, scoop from bottom, turn the bowl, repeat. Do am gentle. If you stir like you dey fight, you go lose all the air. Your cream go flat.
Now crust. Bake am at 450°F. But here’s a trick wey cost me three burnt batches to learn: put your baking sheet inside the oven before you preheat. Let am heat with the oven. When you ready, put your dough on that hot sheet. That way, the bottom crisps without the top burning. Works every time. I no fit count how many crust I spoil before I learn this one.
While the crust dey cool, make your streusel. Melted butter, flour, brown sugar, white sugar, pinch of salt. Rub am with your fingers until e look like sand wey small pikin play with. Bake until golden. Keep for one side.
Make your cream cheese drizzle too. Cream cheese, powdered sugar, milk, vanilla. Beat until smooth. Pour inside small bag. Cut the tip small small when you ready to use.
Now assembly.
Make sure your crust don cool finish. If e still hot and you put cream, the cream go melt. I don talk am before.
Spread the Bavarian cream. Leave small border. No reach the edge.
Add your fruit. Strawberries, blueberries, peaches. But biko, listen to me. Pat the fruit dry. Use paper towel. Pat am very well. If your fruit get water, that water go leak into the cream. Your cream go turn runny. I don make this mistake for a wedding order. One big wedding. Bride no complain but I sabi. I sabi say the cream no hold like I wanted. From that day, any fruit wey touch my counter, e must dry first.
Sprinkle the streusel on top. Then drizzle the cream cheese glaze. Drizzle am like say you dey draw lines. Back and forth. No overdo.
Now this part wey people always skip: chill am.
Put the whole pizza inside fridge. 20 minutes. 30 minutes if you get patience. If you slice am immediately, the cream go squish out the sides. E go look like say you run over am with car. Wait. Let am set.
After e set, slice am like normal pizza. Triangles. Serve cold or room temperature. No microwave. Never. If you microwave assembled pizza, the cream go separate and turn to water. If you want warm crust? Remove all toppings. Warm the crust alone in oven at 300°F for three minutes. Then put everything back. I know say e long, but na only way.
Storage? Keep for fridge. Two to three days. But add fresh fruit only on the day you serve. Day-old fruit dey release water. Your pizza go turn soggy.
Common wahala and how to fix:
If your custard come out too thin? You no cook am long enough. Next time, cook until e thick. No rush.
If your crust come out too hard? You overbaked or you roll am too thin. Watch the edges. As dem turn light gold, pull am out.
If your cream split and you see water separate? You fold too hard or your custard still warm when you add whipped cream. Or you use fruit wey still wet.
I don do all these mistakes. Some for paying customers. Some for family. One Sunday morning, my custard no set well. Guests don reach door. I no fit start again. You know what I do? I call am “deconstructed Bavarian cream pizza.” I serve am inside small bowls. Nobody complain. Dem even ask for more.
That’s catering, biko. When fire burn, you dance.
Now go make yours. If your pot catch fire? That one na your matter.
