California Roll Wey Nearly Finish Me

California Roll Wey Nearly Finish Me https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/California_roll

See this California roll

When people first started asking me to make am

I thought they were joking

Like na me wey dey cook jollof and egusi

Now dem want me to start rolling rice and seaweed

But the money was good

So I said yes

Omo

That first week was rough

My kitchen looked like somebody threw rice everywhere

The avocado was turning brown before I even finished cutting am

The nori kept sticking to my fingers

And the rolls

Biko the rolls

Dem look like something my two year old nephew would make

I almost called the client and told them sorry I can’t do am

But my pride wouldn’t let me

So I kept trying

And failing

And trying again

Until I finally got am right

Now I make these rolls almost every week

For rich people

For family

Sometimes just for myself when I want to feel like I’m eating something fancy

Let me tell you what I learned

Not what the YouTube videos tell you

What I actually learned from messing up again and again

The Rice Wey Almost Make Me Cry

First time I tried this recipe

I used the rice wey dey my kitchen

Normal long grain rice

The one I use for jollof

Big mistake

The rice wouldn’t stick together at all

I would spread am on the nori and am just falling apart

I tried pressing harder

I tried wetting my hands more

Nothing worked

The rice just sat there refusing to cooperate

I called my friend wey dey work for restaurant

I was complaining to am

He asked what rice I used

When I told am

He just started laughing

Laughing

I was vexing small

But he explained that I needed sushi rice

Short grain rice wey naturally sticky

He said I can find am for any Asian store

He also said I need to rinse am properly

Not once

Not twice

Until the water runs completely clear

I went to the store

Bought the right rice

Tried again

The difference was like night and day

The rice actually stuck together

I could spread am without am falling apart

I could roll am without everything collapsing

So save yourself the trouble I went through

Buy sushi rice

Not long grain

Not basmati

Not the rice you use for everyday cooking

Sushi rice

And rinse am properly

I know it’s boring

I know you want to skip am

Don’t

Put the rice for bowl

Add water

Swirl am around

Pour out the cloudy water

Repeat until the water stays clear

This takes about four or five rinses

Then soak the rice

Put am for water and leave am for fifteen minutes before cooking

This is important

The rice needs to absorb water before am hits the heat

When you cook am

Use a pot with tight lid

Bring am to boil

Then reduce the heat to the lowest setting

Let am cook for seventeen minutes

Do not open that lid

I know you want to check

Don’t

After seventeen minutes

Turn off the heat and leave am alone for another ten minutes

Still don’t open am

Now season am

Rice vinegar

Sugar

Salt

Mix dem together and pour over the rice

Use folding motion

Don’t stir like you making pap

You’ll crush the grains

Fan the rice while you fold am

This cools am down and gives am that shiny look

You want the rice at room temperature before you start rolling

Warm rice too wet

Am will soak through your nori and make everything soggy

Cold rice too hard

Am won’t spread properly

Room temperature is the sweet spot

The Crab and Mayonnaise Matter

People always ask me if I use real crab

I used to try to impress people by using real crab

I would go to the market

Buy fresh crabs

Spend hours picking out the meat

Am expensive

Am time consuming

And honestly

I couldn’t tell the difference for the final roll

So now I use imitation crab

Sue me

Am called kanikama

Made from white fish with crab flavoring

Am cheap

Am easy to work with

And am taste fine for California roll

The key is the mayonnaise

Not regular mayonnaise

Japanese mayonnaise

Am called Kewpie

Am sweeter and creamier than the stuff we use for salad

If you can’t find Kewpie

Use regular mayonnaise and add tiny pinch of sugar

Am won’t be exactly the same but am close

Cut the imitation crab into small pieces

Put am for bowl

Add the mayonnaise

Mix am until everything coated

The mixture should be moist but not dripping wet

You should be able to scoop am with spoon and am holds shape

Some people add little salt or drop of soy sauce

I don’t bother

The mayonnaise has enough flavor

Avocado Drama Wey Dey Stress Me

This one frustrated me for long time

I would buy avocados and dem would be hard as rock

I would wait for dem to ripen

And dem would go from rock to mush overnight

There was no in-between

And then when I finally got good avocado

Am would turn brown before I could finish rolling

Here’s what I do now

I buy avocados three or four days before I need dem

I leave dem on the counter and check dem every day

When dem start to give slightly when I press dem

I put dem for fridge

This stops the ripening process and keeps dem perfect for when I need dem

When I’m ready to use dem

I cut dem open

Remove the pit

Slice dem into strips

Then I sprinkle the strips with rice vinegar or lemon juice

The acid stops the browning

If I’m making big batch

I cut the avocados one at a time as I need dem

I don’t cut all of dem at once and let dem sit there turning brown

Cucumber Wey No Dey Make Everything Wet

The cucumber is supposed to be crunchy

That’s its job for the roll

The crunch

If your cucumber soft and watery

Am not doing its job

English cucumbers are best

Dem have fewer seeds and less water

If you can only find regular cucumbers

Peel dem

Cut dem in half

Scoop out the seeds

The seeds hold water and that water will make your roll soggy

Cut the cucumber into thin strips

About the same length as your nori sheet

Thin enough to fit easily

But thick enough to maintain their crunch

The Nori Drama

Nori is seaweed

Am come for flat sheets

Am black and crispy and look like piece of paper

First time I bought nori

I opened the package and left am on the counter

I didn’t seal am properly

The next day

The nori was soft and chewy

Am wouldn’t crisp up no matter what I did

I learned my lesson

Now I seal the package tightly after I open am

I also check the expiry date before I buy am

If your nori soft

You can revive am by waving am over low flame for few seconds

Just be careful

Am burn easily

When you put the nori on your mat

The rough side should face up

The shiny side goes down

The rough side holds the rice better

Rolling Wey Nearly Finish Me

I’m going to be honest with you

The first time I tried to roll California roll

I wanted to cry

The rice wouldn’t stick to the nori

The fillings kept falling out

The roll would unravel as soon as I cut am

Am was disaster

But I kept trying

And eventually

I figured out the rhythm

Here’s what I do now

I set up my bamboo mat on the counter

I wrap am completely in plastic wrap

No gaps

Rice will find its way into any gap and you will spend forever trying to clean am off

I place one sheet of nori on the mat

Rough side up

Shiny side down

I take about three quarters cup of seasoned rice and spread am over the nori

I dip my fingers in water before touching the rice

The water stops the rice from sticking to my hands

I spread the rice evenly over the whole sheet

No gaps

No thick spots

Even coverage

Then I flip the whole thing over

The rice is now facing down

Touching the plastic wrap

The nori is facing up

Exposed

I add my fillings

Crab mixture

Avocado

Cucumber

I put dem in line about one third of the way up from the bottom edge

Here’s the thing

Don’t overfill

I know you want to put plenty

I know am look like there’s space

But if you put too much inside

The roll won’t close properly and everything will fall out

I lift the edge of the mat closest to me

I roll am over the filling

I press gently as I roll

The goal is to create tight

Compact roll

When I reach the end

I press the mat around the roll to seal am

Not too hard

Just enough pressure to hold everything together

I unwrap the mat

I peel away the plastic

And there am

A roll

Am might not look perfect the first time

Or the second time

But am will get better

Cutting Without Destroying Everything

This is the part where everything can go wrong

You have beautiful roll

Am tight

Am neat

You proud of yourself

Then you try to cut am and the whole thing squishes

The rice pushes out the sides

The fillings fall out

Your beautiful roll look like mess

The problem is your knife

You need sharp knife

Not just sharp

Really sharp

The sharpest knife in your kitchen

Dip the blade in water before each cut

This stops the rice from sticking to the knife

Cut the roll in half crosswise

Then cut each half into three equal pieces

You should have six pieces per roll

Wipe the knife with wet cloth between each cut

This keeps the blade clean and gives you clean slices

If you want to be extra careful

Wrap the roll in plastic wrap before cutting

This keeps the roll from unraveling

I do this when I’m making big batch for event

Things Wey I Wish Somebody Told Me From The Start

Let me list some things for you

Things I learned the hard way

Your first few rolls will be ugly

That’s fine

Don’t stop

Keep going

If the rice sticks to your hands

Your fingers too dry

Dip dem in water more often

If the roll loose

You didn’t apply enough pressure

Roll am tighter next time

If the filling pushes out the ends

You used too much filling or applied too much pressure

If the avocado turns brown

You didn’t use enough acid

Use more rice vinegar or lemon juice

If the nori chewy

Am was stale or didn’t crisp properly

If the roll falls apart when you cut am

Your knife too dull or you didn’t wrap am tight enough

The Soy Sauce Thing

You need soy sauce

The roll by itself bland

The soy sauce brings out all the flavors

Put the soy sauce in small bowl

Put wasabi in another bowl

Put pickled ginger in third bowl

Some people mix wasabi into the soy sauce

Some people put am directly on the roll

Do whatever you want

There’s no wrong way

How Much Time This Takes

If you know what you doing

About one hour from start to finish

The first time

Give yourself two hours

You’ll need the extra time for mistakes

Trust me

How Many People This Feeds

This recipe makes four rolls

Each roll gives you six pieces

That’s twenty-four pieces total

Am feeds about four to six people as appetizer

If you serving am as meal

Am feeds about two to three people

Questions People Always Ask Me

Can I make this with brown rice

I’ve tried am

Am doesn’t work well

Brown rice doesn’t have the same starch content

The rolls fall apart

What if I can’t find imitation crab

You can use real crab

Am just more expensive and more work

You can also use shrimp or salmon

The technique is the same

Can I make this ahead of time

I don’t recommend am

The rice gets hard in the fridge

The nori gets chewy

Make am fresh and serve am immediately

What’s the most common mistake

Overfilling

People see the space and dem want to fill am

But the roll has to close

If you put too much inside

Am won’t close properly

What if I don’t have bamboo mat

You can use clean kitchen towel

But the bamboo mat works better

Am worth the investment

Can I use other fillings

Yes

I’ve made rolls with mango

Sweet potato

Even fried plantain

Once you learn the technique

You can add whatever you want

The Honest Truth

This recipe is not authentic Japanese food

The California roll was invented in America

Am fusion food

Japanese technique with American ingredients

But here’s the thing

People love am

Dem go crazy for am

Dem think you some kind of chef when you serve am

I’ve made these rolls for all kinds of events

Weddings

Birthday parties

Corporate lunches

Even a few funerals

Every time

People impressed

Dem take pictures

Dem ask for the recipe

Dem tell me I should open restaurant

And I just nod and smile

Because dem don’t need to know that I once spent entire weekend making nothing but failed rolls

Dem don’t need to know that I cried over batch of ruined sushi

Dem just need to enjoy the food

So try this recipe

Mess am up

Try again

Get better

When you finally get am right

Serve am to your family or your friends

Watch their faces when dem taste am

That feeling worth every failed roll

One more thing

If you making this for party

Make extra

People eat more of these than you expect

I always make double what I think I need and I still run out

Alright

I’ve said enough

Go make your rolls

You’ll do fine

And if you mess up

That’s okay

I messed up too

We all mess up

Just try again