http://happycake99.blogspot.com/2013/02/dragon-fruit-red-velvet-cake.htmlDragon Fruit Velvet Cake
let me just tell u how I make it
not how a book says
how I actually make it in my kitchen at 7pm on a tuesday when im tired
First thing
cut the damn fruit
I forgot once
bought six of them with red skin
came home
cut
white inside
all six
I stood there looking at my knife like… what do I do now
so now I cut one in the market
seller looks at me like im crazy
I don’t care
cut it
if its white put it back
if its red take it
peel it
ends off
skin comes off like a banana almost
then chop
throw in blender
no water
no sugar
just fruit
blend
look at that color
deep pink almost purple
that’s the one
Now measure
three quarters cup
if u get more drink it
if u get less ur fruits were small
next time buy bigger ones
Now the dry stuff
big bowl
flour two and half cups
sugar one and half cups
baking soda one teaspoon
baking powder one teaspoon
salt half teaspoon
cocoa two tablespoons
I know u see cocoa and ur like bubby no
but yes
it doesnt taste like chocolate
it just makes the cake taste like something instead of nothing
trust me on this
I dont lie about food
Now the wet stuff
different bowl
eggs three
leave them out next time for one hour
today u forgot?
put them in warm water for five minutes
works fine
oil three quarters cup
anything neutral
not olive oil
buttermilk one cup
dont have buttermilk?
one cup milk plus one tablespoon vinegar
stir
wait five minutes
see its thick now
thats it
vanilla one teaspoon
vinegar one teaspoon again
I know vinegar twice
just do it
Now mix
pour wet into dry
use a spoon
not a mixer
I said not a mixer
mix until u dont see white flour anymore
stop
dont keep going
if u keep going cake becomes hard like old bread
Now add the dragon fruit puree
mix again
just until u see pink everywhere
it will be streaky
streaky is fine
stop mixing
Pans
two eight inch round
grease them
then put parchment paper at the bottom
cut circles or squares or whatever
just cover the bottom
this cake sticks
without paper u will be crying
I have cried
dont be me
Divide the batter
try to make them equal
use a scale if u have
if not just guess
close enough
Oven
350 fahrenheit
180 celsius
put them in middle rack
set timer 28 minutes
now close the door
dont open it
if u open it before 28 minutes cold air goes in
cake sinks in the middle
then u call me and say bubby my cake sank
and I say did u open the door
and u say yes
and I say that’s why
so don’t.
Timer goes off
open
stick a toothpick in the middle
if wet batter comes out close and give it 3 more minutes
if a few crumbs come out done
if clean u overbaked but it will still taste fine just a little dry
Take them out
leave in pans ten minutes
then run a knife around the edge
flip onto a wire rack
tap the bottom of the pan
cake should fall out
if it sticks u didnt use enough grease or paper
next time use more
Now cool
dont touch
dont frost
dont even look at them for one hour
if u frost while warm the frosting melts and slides off
I saw a cake fall on the floor once at a birthday party
the girl cried
her mother looked at me like I killed her dog
so wait
I said wait
Frosting while u wait
cream cheese one block
full fat
dont bring me low fat
butter half a stick
leave them on the counter one hour before
if theyre cold u get lumps
lumps are ugly
beat them together until smooth
add powdered sugar three cups
little by little
if u dump everything sugar goes everywhere
then ur cleaning for one hour
add vanilla one teaspoon
salt a pinch
beat just until combined
if u beat too long it becomes runny like yogurt
wont stay on the cake
taste it
good
if u want to make it the day before u can
keep in fridge
take out one hour before u want to use it
then whip for one minute
good as new
Now put the cake together
one layer on a plate
frosting on top
spread it
second layer on top
frosting on top and sides
dont worry if it looks messy
messy is fine
homemade is supposed to look homemade
Now eat
cut a slice
see those little black seeds?
thats the dragon fruit
see that soft pink?
thats real
no food coloring
What can go wrong
grey cake
u used white flesh
or u let the puree sit too long
once u blend it use it within five minutes
add half teaspoon lemon juice to the puree
helps keep the color
Sunk in the middle
u opened the oven early
or u used frozen dragon fruit
frozen fruit has extra water
that water turns to steam
steam sinks the cake
if u must use frozen cook the puree on low heat for ten minutes until it thickens
cool it completely
then use
Gummy cake
u overmixed
next time stop mixing the moment u dont see flour streaks
I already said this
but im saying it again because people dont listen
Storage
same day counter covered with a bowl or plastic wrap
next day fridge wrapped tight
lasts five days
freeze without frosting
wrap in cling film then foil
two months
thaw in fridge overnight
then frost
Last thing bubby
I made this cake for a lady last year
anniversary
she wanted something different
I gave her this
soft pink
black seeds
cream cheese frosting
she called me the next day
she said her husband ate three slices
three
he never eats three of anything
she asked for the recipe
I gave it
she made it
it came out grey
I asked what dragon fruit she used
she said white
we laughed
she went back to the market
got the red ones
made it again
it came out pink
she sent me a picture
I said see? I told u
she said okay bubby u were right
I said I know
So that’s it
that’s the cake
don’t promise anybody bright red
promise them soft pink and good taste
that’s what this is.
